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Day 11: A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Papa,

I feel as though I owe you an apology.  I feel I owe you an apology for all of the times I could have come to visit you but didn’t.  And now it’s too late. 

I did, and still do, love you a lot, but there is just so much about you I don’t understand.  I just wish that I could understand why you were so distant, and didn’t care to have a presence in our lives.  I only remember you being at a few important days in my life.  You weren’t even at my high school graduation.  Why was that?  That was the only chance you would have had to see me in a cap and gown, and you missed it.

I feel guilty because I wasn’t there, and I feel hurt because you weren’t either.  So I guess we both owe each other an apology.  I will always love you and will never forget the memories I have of you.  Every so often, I hear you saying ‘Hey kid’ in the back of my mind.

I hope you are well.  Smile down on me from time to time, okay?

Rachael Hannah