So much has happened in the last three years since you’ve been gone. Most importantly, I graduated from college last year. Were you watching? It sure felt like you were. I thought of you the whole time and wished you could have been there.
I haven’t found a job yet, but I know you’d still be proud of me. That’s one thing I hope I never forget about you is how much pride you had in all of us kids, even if you didn’t show it outwardly. I smile when I think of you listening to my “Let There Be Peace on Earth” solo, and now cherish that as one of my most precious memories. I think of it as an anthem to you now. We didn’t know it then, but it was.
I am in love, Pop-pop. And I wish you could meet Chris. I am certain that you two would get along – he loves Penn State just like you! I can imagine that if you were still around, you two would spend time getting to know each other talking about all things football. He’s the one, Pop-pop. And I’d do anything to have you there on our wedding day. So I certainly hope you will be watching from above.
I just…miss you. More than I can put into words, more than I can pen on paper. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you. And sometimes, out of nowhere, I smell your aftershave wafting through the air. And maybe it’s silly, but when I do smell it, I tell myself it’s because you’re there looking in on me, if only for a minute. It’s a comfort to me.
If I could do it all over again, I would have visited you a lot more. I feel as though I took you for granted, pretending as though you’d always be here, blind to the fact that that wasn’t the case. If I could do it all over again, I would have called you the day before you had your heart attack to ask you what you thought was wrong with my car. I could have heard your voice one last time and heard you tell me you loved me. I just wish you didn’t have to go so suddenly. What I wouldn’t give for one last hug, one last smile, to hear your laughter one more time.
When I miss you the most, I think of singing “Let There Be Peace on Earth” – that will always be our special bond. It warms my heart to know how proud you were of me in that moment, and always.
I love you forever. I miss you so very much.
Sending you all of my love,